Online Dating for Transgender People

The first step in getting on with your prospects is to get over the fear, and the next few tips are just for that. Here are seven ways to ditch your mousy, insecure, “Oh God, please don’t date me” self and get you over the top: 1. Be Super Specific. I know what you’re thinking—you see a potential date and think, “Boy, she or he looks like a hottie!” and then you leave the matchmaker and continue with your life. I’m telling you, if you’re not making the effort to find a specific type of guy who shares your interests, personality, and hobbies, he may not even know you exist. Never say you’re into someone based on “Looks aren’t everything,” only to say to yourself, “Great, so I just want the hot bald guy.” That’s so vague. Say, instead, that you’re more attracted to a guy who loves poetry and has a soft spot for the Big Bang Theory. This will help him remember you. This is equally important for your matches. When they write, “I’m looking for someone who…” you’re not only narrowing down the field of possibilities, but you’re providing them with an even better idea of what you’re looking for. 2. Admit That Everyone Wants To Be Loved. I know it sounds like an obnoxious little truth bomb, but hear me out. Everyone wants to be loved. It’s an innate desire that is bred into you through your entire being. You know, even your mother wants to be loved. She hasn’t figured out how to be a woman yet—that comes with years of therapy—but the fact that she wants to be loved is just a fluke of biology that hasn’t changed since the origin of humans. That fluke may be hardwired into your brain too, because we don’t act on it. But since we all want love, we all have to do something to get some. The easiest way to get someone to fall for you is to work on your emotions. Be gentle and kind to the people you meet. Give a compliment or two. If you don’t think it’s that obvious, then I ask again, “How do you think people fall
You Can’t Have Everything In the modern world, it’s not realistic to expect perfection from every date. Everyone experiences bad dates and awkward interactions, and we all have our own quirks that make it difficult to find a good partner. You’ve gotta learn to live with yourself and love yourself. If you’re not enjoying your current relationship, it’s not because you’re not attractive enough or funny enough, but because the dating scene in the modern world isn’t conducive to finding your soul mate. You’ve got to learn to deal with bad dates and awkward moments without making yourself crazy. Let go of the idea that your interactions with the opposite sex have to be a breeze. Realize that with the ease of technology comes the ease of rejection. Keep in mind that you can’t have everything. If you let that get to you, you’re going to lose sleep and get no good night’s rest. Be Yourself The most important thing is being yourself. The next most important thing is being smart about how you present yourself. Be very specific about what you look like when you go out. Don’t hide behind your laptop and a pair of sunglasses. Show off your best assets—for example, if you’re a size 6-8 and there’s a woman sitting next to you at the bar who seems like she might be interested in a fling, don’t pretend to be this big guy. That’s who you are. If she can tell you’re not going to give her more than a one-night stand, she’ll be able to say the same thing. Unless you’re attracted to the person, you have nothing to gain by lying. She’ll know who you are, and she’ll be able to gauge whether you’re playing fair. Don’t Try to Act Like the “Casual Casual” You Know You’re Not Everyone has a “casual casual” persona, and it can be difficult to live up to. You’re not trying to be a Casanova, and you’re not trying to be a Lothario. You just want to date and have a good time. Dating is supposed to be fun, and you can’t be “casual casual” or your date is not going to want to go any further with you. She’ll wonder why you’re not trying to make the relationship work, and she’ll wonder if you are going to find someone else during this date. If you want a hookup, just tell her—if you want a date,

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